Drug Tests for Welfare

January 7, 2012 at 11:56 am (Uncategorized)

Drug testing for welfare seems like a good idea, right? At first thought, it may seem that way, but I wanted to pose a couple of points that may not have crossed your mind…

First of all, federal funding for welfare is specifically designated for welfare programs. Unless welfare funding is cut, any “savings” from drug testing will not go back into your pockets as a tax payer, and that savings cannot be redirected toward another use. Also, have you thought about how much the drug tests themselves will cost tax payers in the states passing this legislation?

Secondly, I really don’t see how it can be very effective. Take Tennessee’s food stamps program, for instance. In Tennessee, a person who is eligible for food stamps only has to reapply every six months.  Therefore, if Tennessee were to enact similar drug testing legislation, recipients would only have to get clean at application/reapplication time, and then they would have six more months to do all the drugs they want.  Let me also point out that, contrary to popular belief, the average welfare recipient only receives welfare for 4.5 months.

Lastly (and I’m talking to you JudgyMcJudgePants), you obviously view most welfare recipients as lazy, mooching, drug addicts. Even if that is absolutely true (and it’s not), those lazy, mooching, drug addicts likely have children who didn’t ask to be brought into this world. Those children are the ones who will really suffer, and they don’t deserve to go hungry so lawmakers can feel better about “cracking down” (no pun intended) on welfare. That’s my opinion, at least.  Already one in five children in the United States is hungry.  ONE in FIVE.  That’s just something for you to think about when you lay down tonight in your warm, cozy bed with a full belly.

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Ho, Ho, Ho

December 10, 2011 at 12:23 am (Uncategorized)

Are you boycotting stores that wish you “Happy Holidays?” Have you ever considered that “Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year” is possibly just too wordy for the ads? Even more likely, maybe they just want to give you a gracious and cheery well-wish and allow it to take on whatever personal meaning you give it.  So…if you hear “Happy Holidays” and don’t immediately think “Jesus,” that’s pretty much your own fault, isn’t it?

And why does it seriously matter? I mean, if a department store’s choice in marketing somehow affects your celebration of Christmas, I can assure you, you’re doing it wrong.  And let’s be realistic here.  You’ll somehow manage to go on celebrating the real reason for the season….somehow…

I’ll bet you still get out that silly good behavior incentive known as “elf on the shelf” every year…

…and put up the annual fire-hazard and adorn it with colored lights and glittery balls…

…and spend hundreds or thousands of dollars on gifts that no one really needs, such as:

  • video games that make kids (and adults) fat, lethargic, and brain-dead,
  • more ties or sweaters for Dad,
  • more nick knacks for Mom (even though she already has stuff covering every flat surface in the house),
  • clothes that your kids will never wear (i.e. a bright yellow embroidered Mickey Mouse fleece with saw-toothed hems and matching black velveteen stirrup pants, which are especially uncool for a teenager post 1990)…

…and wrap those thoughtful gifts in tacky paper with bows and place them under said fire hazard…

…and lie to your kids and tell them that a magical fat guy is gonna break into their house and bring them more presents if they behave…

…and after the kids are asleep, eat the cookies supposedly intended for said fat guy while hungry kids in Africa starve…

Just a little perspective.

Happy holidays…may they be gay and bright. :)

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Meet the GOP Candidates: Michele Bachmann

November 17, 2011 at 1:00 am (Politics)

This series will include nine masterful installments, assuming none of the candidates withdraws before I finish it. And that’s not a very safe assumption, considering the lot we’re dealing with here.

Well, let’s get on with meeting the GOP candidates, shall we?

Michele Bachmann

Michele Bachmann always looks surprised. Sometimes I think even she’s surprised that she is running for President of the United States. Anywho, in 2006, Bachmann was the first Republican woman to be elected to the U.S. House of Representatives for Minnesota. She currently sits on the Financial Services Committee (FSC) and the Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence. She is also pretty much the Tea Party sweetheart.

Here are some of my favorite high points from her campaign thus far:

  • She thinks the HPV vaccine causes retardation in young girls;
  • Believes that black children born into slavery were better off than black children today (see below);“Slavery had a disastrous impact on African-American families, yet sadly a child born into slavery in 1860 was more likely to be raised by his mother and father in a two-parent household than was an African-American baby born after the election of the USA’s first African-American President.“
  • Holds that homosexuality is a choice;
  • And has pledged to ban pornography.

So far, she’s definitely lost the black voters and gay voters. And that last high point may have also lost her the male voters…

…well, maybe not all the male voters.

Aside from the buggy eyes, I guess she’s not completely horrible to look at, but let’s discuss her knowledge of American history. I mean, she did incorrectly assert that our founding fathers “worked tirelessly to end slavery.” Considering her prestigious educational credentials, surely she learned at some point that many of the forefathers and earlier presidents actually owned slaves, right? But hey, who cares about the facts? She was just trying to tell a heartwarming story about our upstanding, Christian forefathers. We must not forget that Bachmann was a successful litigator before she got into politics, so if you ask me, she is the candidate to watch if you just wanna see someone make some sh*t up and come close to actually pulling it off.

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I am the 99%…and if you’re reading this, you probably are, too.

November 5, 2011 at 1:31 am (Politics)

Let me preface this by saying, yes, I AM part of the 99 percent, which means I’m (obviously) NOT part of the 1 percent of the wealthiest Americans. (It’s simple math, people.)  Also note that I said “Americans.”  Because I have a roof over my head and  three meals a day, I am already much richer than many people in other parts of the world, and I never lose sight of that or take it for granted.

In this instance, my identification as a 99 percenter does NOT mean:

  • I’m unemployed or don’t want to work.  As a matter of fact, I work 6 shifts, five days a week while maintaining a full graduate-level course load, which includes completing a mountain of assignments, going to class for three hours every Thursday night, going to class for about 4 hours (with the professor from Hell) every other Sunday morning, and keeping up with another class online.  Oh, and I also maintain a 4.0 GPA.  I may have no life, but I have this sh*t DOWN.
  •  I feel entitled to hand-outs.  I loathe being lumped into the Millennial Generation, which supposedly includes those born in the late 1970s to the 1990s, characterized as being technologically savvy, mooching off their parents into their late-20s, and generally expecting things to be easy.  Hey, I put myself through college (both times), and I fully intend to pay off the student loans that I incurred as a result.  And it has been  anything but easy.
  • I’m not a tax-payer.  Ok, truthfully last year I really wasn’t a tax-payer (but that’s another blog on which I’m working).   I do work, feel like I should have paid taxes, and will cheerfully pay my taxes for 2011.  So…I may not currently be part of the “53 percent,” but I’m part of whatever percent enjoys my freedoms, is glad to pay for them, and wants tax reform.
  • I like to fight my causes by camping in the street for days without showering.  Sure, I identify with the Occupiers in their anger at the massive disparity between the wealthy and the poor and middle class, but I would rather fight with my writing skills and my individual power at the ballot box.  I’m not down with the risk of getting arrested for a little illegal camping just so I can hold a sign and hope someone important notices.

    Personally, I respect some of the causes for which the protesters stand.  You may not agree with the Occupiers, and to you I say, they like to assemble; you like your guns – to each his own.  Assembly is their Constitutional right, so it really doesn’t matter  if you don’t understand nor like when, where, or why they are assembling.

    Also, stop getting so hung up on the Occupiers’ failure to rally for/against a single issue and their lack of clear organization. (I’m looking at you, Ann Coulter Cruella DeVille.)   This is a people’s movement – a grassroots movement.  Grassroots movements are characterized as having more than one cause.  Furthermore, the Occupiers haven’t formally organized or incorporated because then the movement would not be a people’s movement.  (Formal organization is why the Tea Party has lost a lot of its steam.)

    Oh yeah, let’s talk about the Tea Party.  The Tea Party raised some of the very same issues raised by the Occupiers, but they are now pretending to have nothing in common with the self-proclaimed 99 percenters.  (Wall Street bailouts ring a bell?)  Actually, they seem almost angered by the movements.  I mean, I really think the root of the animosity here is that the Tea Party is just a tad butt-hurt that they didn’t garner anywhere near the attention that the Occupy movements are getting.  By the way, the Tea Party should really stop demonizing the Occupy movements, as the Tea Party is named after the biggest celebrated act of theft and vandalism in history. Think about it.

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SWF seeks…

October 23, 2011 at 5:35 pm (Funnies)

This is my mom, Rene.’

Well, the one on the left is my mom…I’m the one on the right. She’s is one sexy bitch really classy-looking lady, isn’t she?

Mom is a Cancer and was born in the same year as Jerry Seinfeld, Oprah, John Travolta, and the creepy guy on “Lost.” She is 5’4″ and never wears flat shoes…never.  She has hazel eyes, light auburn hair, and a huge rack (obviously).  She loves Victorian architecture, long walks on the beach, and movies that are politically incorrect and lack any current relevance (i.e. “Holiday Inn,” in which Bing Crosby does “black face”).   She has ophidiophobia (an abnormal fear of snakes…not just actual snakes but also rubber snakes, snakes on TV, even pictures of snakes), and she just learned how to do the “Cha Cha Slide.”

She doesn’t like short, chubby, bald men; men who have Oedipus complexes; men who are easily offended by cursing or Stephen Colbert; men who are unemployed (unless they’re comfortably retired or independently wealthy); or men who identify themselves as “republicans.”  If you still qualify, hopefully you are handsome and educated, have a good sense of humor, and like animals (read: are a veterinarian, run a pet store, or maybe own a small petting zoo).  And age is just a number…unless you’re on a ventilator or use a walker.  FYI, anyone taking her to dinner  should avoid trying to feed her anything that could have once been considered “cute” before it got to her plate (i.e. rabbit, duck, venison, etc.).

Anywho, if you or someone you know may be her perfect match, I will need a resume, three personal references from people who aren’t family members, a criminal background check, and a photo.   No penis pictures, please.

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I’m an evil feminist.

September 20, 2011 at 7:25 pm (Uncategorized)

Recently, I’ve heard this trending topic of “evil feminism”…mostly from (warning: offensive stereotypes ahead) Bible-gassing crazies and right-wing propagandists.  What’s so wrong with feminism?

Feminist movements seek to promote gender equality in economic, political, legal, and social arenas.  The rise of feminism began about mid-19th century and gave way to many of the rights and freedoms we, as women, enjoy today.  Here are some highlights:

  • 1869 – The women’s suffrage movement began.  From that point, it took almost 50 years for women to be officially given the right to vote.
  • 1920s – Following the passage of the 19th amendment, a series of Women’s World Fairs were held, at which women showed off their achievements in the arts, literature, science, and industry and swapped information about career opportunities.
  • 1921 – The American Birth Control League was founded.
    The league held that children should be:

    1. conceived in love,
    2. born of the mother’s conscious desire,
    3. and only begotten under conditions which render possible the heritage of health.

    The league asserted that “every woman must possess the power and freedom to prevent conception except when these conditions can be satisfied.”  This organization basically gave all women – rich and poor – equal access to birth control and birth control education during a time when many women couldn’t even get birth control information from their family doctors.  That doesn’t sound so bad, right?  This very organization eventually became Planned Parenthood.  GASP!

  • 1961 – The President’s Commission on the Status of Women, led by Eleanor Roosevelt, was founded.  The organization documented substantial discrimination against women in the workplace and made recommendations for fair hiring practices, paid maternity leave, and affordable child care.
  • 1963 – Equal Pay Act was passed.
  • 1964 – Civil Rights Act was passed, part of which barred discrimination in employment on the basis of race and sex.
  • 1972 – Education Amendments banned sex discrimination in schools.
  • 1974 - The Equal Credit Opportunity Act prohibited discrimination incredit practices on the basis of sex, race, marital status, religion, national origin, age, or receipt of public assistance.
  • 1976 - The first marital rape law was enacted, making it illegal for a husband to rape his wife.
  • 1978 – The Pregnancy Discrimination Act banned employment discrimination against pregnant women.  Now,  women cannot be fired or denied a job/promotion because they are or may become pregnant, nor can they be forced to take pregnancy leave if they are willing/able to work.
  • 1986 -  The Supreme Court found that sexual harassment is a form of illegal job discrimination.
  • 1994 – The Violence Against Women Act tightened federal penalties for sex offenders, funded services for victims of rape and domestic violence, and provided for special training of police officers.

So, do these female anti-feminists not enjoy their rights?  I’m seriously puzzled here.

These anti-fems argue that the feminist movement is solely responsible for the detriment of our nation’s children.  They think it’s the reason men aren’t manly men anymore.   I don’t get it.  We feminists are man-hating b*tches who let other people raise our children?  a.  That’s not what’s wrong our nation (that’s another blog…).  b. That’s not our goal, people.  The goal of feminism is to allow we women the rights and freedoms that men enjoy – we should have the freedom to make our own choices.  If your choice is to stay at home with your children, keep house, cook all the family meals, and submit to your husband’s will, that’s your choice.  I applaud you.  Personally, I enjoy being married – being a counterpart to someone else whom I love more than myself.  My husband and I still have roles, but they are roles to which we each willfully agree.  Yes, I desire to maintain my own individuality and success outside our home.  And guess what?  I will STILL keep a clean house, cook gourmet dinners, and help my [future] kids with their homework.  Because I can.

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A milestone?

September 11, 2011 at 1:14 am (Uncategorized)

Here I sit in bed (though I should be reading and preparing for class in the morning), and I find myself reflecting upon what happened on this day ten years ago and what it all means now. I bet you’re thinking you’re about to get a typical tear-jerking rendition about where I was when it  happened, how I felt standing in front of the television watching it unfold…

You know, it’s funny…of course, not funny like a clown (which I don’t think is funny at all anyway), but more like funny unexpected…Anywho, I’m thinking about being back in Saint Lucia on our honeymoon.  (Yes, really.)  We arrived on the island just weeks after a devastating hurricane, and still, I swear, we found that Saint Lucians are the happiest damned people we’ve ever encountered. They’re genuinely happy just to be alive.  I remember being out one day with our tour guide, Christian.  Joey and I asked him loads of questions.  He told us about the island; he told us about his wife and his daughter (who happens to be in college in New York); he gushed over how much he loves country music…    We asked him about people relocating to Saint Lucia to live, how the natives feel about people coming there to retire…   He looked at me like I had a penis growing out of my forehead  was crazy, and he said something that stuck with me.  He said, “When you come here to live, you are Saint Lucian. We are all Saint Lucian.”

I study public administration daily.  I read the news reports.   I even throw fuel on the fire of some debates.   And our freedoms and liberties  afforded to us by the Constitution enable me to do those things.  The United States is a great and beautiful country with liberties and opportunities of which other peoples only dream, yet, generally speaking, the American people seem to have become more selfish, ungrateful, and divided over the last decade.  So…did the terrorists win?  Have they crushed the American spirit?

It almost seems like anything I could say today would just seem trite, but I will say this: we could learn something from the Saint Lucians – to have a DELIGHTFUL SPIRIT and to come together in a UNITED purpose.  Aside from saying a little prayer for those who are still grieving, how will I observe 9/11?  Personally, I’m just going to delight in this day – go to school, watch some football, eat some chili, and be thankful for my freedom and all the little things that are often taken for granted. During these troubled times, we really should find more delight and reason enough to come together – after all, we are all Americans.  I love my beautifully hectic life.  The American spirit is something that really can’t be taken away…not from me, anyway.

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No words.

July 11, 2011 at 10:49 pm (Uncategorized)

I cannot tell you how many times I have sat down to write this in the last two days and couldn’t finish.  I just couldn’t find the words.  Saturday afternoon I studied budgeting with a classmate and, after staring at spread sheet after spread sheet for hours, I returned home with a migraine (go figure…).  I went straight to bed at 7:30 pm and awoke to the sound of a text message a little after ten o’clock, and I asked my husband to grab my phone.  He tried to convince me to ignore it until morning, but something told me it was important.  So I read the message…

Have you heard the news about Lacey Locke? 

Facebook news or actual news?

Channel 2 and 4…

I opened my laptop and typed Lacey Locke into the web browser and nervously hit the enter key.  Nothing could have prepared me for what came up.  “Husband charged with slitting wife’s throat in Hendersonville.”  My heart sank, as I read the words over and over again, expecting them to somehow change.  I didn’t sleep at all that night.   How could this happen to one of my dear friends?   How could I have not known something was wrong?

After returning home from a night out, Norm and Lacey got into a fight, and Norm proceeded to hold Lacey down and slice her throat, narrowly missing her jugular by a mere millimeter.  He left her there to die while he retreated to their backyard and slit his own wrists, and Lacey somehow managed to call 911.  Norm was given brief medical attention and then taken into police custody on attempted murder charges, and Lacey was life flighted  to Vanderbilt, where she underwent surgery.  I am happy to report Lacey has been discharged from the hospital and is getting well among family and friends.  Her physical recovery is going well, but her fight is far from over.  A former stay-at-home mom, Lacey has three little girls who depend on her for support, and none of their lives will ever be the same.   She now must start completely over, and she truly has an uphill climb ahead of her. 

Why did this happen?

How will she explain this tragedy to her girls?

Where will she find the strength to learn from this and move forward?

I am beside myself because I know I don’t have answers to the tough questions that Lacey is facing.  There are some things with which I know I just cannot help.  Thankfully, there are other ways I can help.  You – friends, family, neighbors, even total strangers – you can help.

An account has been established at US Bank in Lacey’s name to help with medical expenses, housing/bills, child care, etc.  If you live out of state and do not have a US Bank branch nearby, you may mail a check to:

US Bank Branch CN-TN-1707
1711 Broadway
Nashville, TN  37203

Be sure to designate “Lacey Locke Account” in the comments area and endorse the back of the check.  Be advised that your contribution is a gift and is not tax deductible.

Please let this be your good deed today.

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F*ck the PoPo

July 5, 2011 at 11:31 pm (Politics)

July 5, 2011

Representative Moore:

I am confused by the recent passage of a law which seeks to punish drivers of vehicles displaying “offensive” bumper stickers – specifically, bumper stickers that are “obscene” or “patently offensive.” You stated that prior to the passage of this bill, to paraphrase, that you received complaints regarding “obscene” bumper stickers. I am curious to know what your constituents consider “obscene.” What most average citizens would consider obscene may be different from the language of the law.

In order for something to be deemed “obscene” it must satisfy ALL of the following: it must appeal to the prurient interest; describe sexual conduct; AND as a whole, lack serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value. In order for something to be considered “patently offensive,” it must go substantially beyond customary limits of candor in describing the aforementioned. For example, if I had a bumper sticker that read “Fuck this asinine bumper sticker law,” I would not be in violation because “fuck,” in this instance, is used to express emotional outrage (as protected by my First Amendment rights, Cohen v. California), not a sexually explicit act; furthermore, the statement also has political value. Though I am certain your constituents would complain about this hypothetical bumper sticker, according to the precedent previously established for what is deemed obscene and patently offensive, I would have every right to display it without penalty.

That being said, certainly you can see why I am confused. Virtually all bumper stickers, except those with blatant pornography plastered on them, are protected by the freedom of speech. I am assuming you, as a representative of the State of Tennessee are aware of this, right? Are your constituents aware as well? Maybe you should inform them. Maybe you should also inform your uniformed police officers, considering the large volume of “offensive” bumper sticker complaints that are soon to pour into your precincts.

Kindest Regards.

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Trump 2012=DISASTER

April 21, 2011 at 1:21 pm (Politics)

All these “Trump 2012″ advocates make me wanna throw up a little. The Donald would be a disaster as President.

He has said he might release his tax returns when Obama releases his birth certificate. He’s a birther. Do I even need to keep going? Well, I will…

He’s a regular ol’ Alexander the Great – he wants to take over the world. This guy is scary, much scarier than our current Muslim Anti-Christ president. (That last bit is sarcasm, for those of you just tuning in.) Seriously, he’s no diplomat. Can you imagine his board room style in a room full of world leaders? Great for TV, terrible for foreign relations.

Read his aspirations here:

http://www.ibtimes.com/articles/135983/20110419/donald-trump-diplomacy-geopolitics-foreign-policy-statements-real-estate-gop-republican-presdential-.htm

He wants an even stronger military than we have now. That implies he would devote more spending to defense. FYI, the government’s current depiction of the budget estimates that defense spending accounts for 20% of the budget. However, if you take into account the amount borrowed to finance the recent/current wars and add interest to that amount, plus take veterans benefits into consideration, etc., you’ll find defense accounts for more like 40-50% of the budget. For those of you worried about the deficit who are hoping a “businessman” will help reduce it, think again.

He’s a Christian, pro-life, anti-gay marriage, and pro-death penalty. He’s a moral guy, right? Nevermind his multiple marriages and affairs (I’m talking to you, Bill Clinton haters) and money-hungry life ambitions.  And he says he’s conservative.  To quote him, “I am probably as conservative as anybody on your show, and that’s going a pretty strong step. I’m a Republican, I’m a very conservative Republican. I believe strongly in just about all conservative principles.” Trump is no conservative, people.  He’s a hypocrite. That’s right, I said it. The trouble with a businessman running for president is he’s always looking out for himself. Consequently, he’s thrown his support behind anyone who looked out for his best interests. Guess what that means – he’s donated just as much money to democrats as he has to republicans.  Actually, of his top ten recent contributions, 6 democrats were on the receiving end.  For those of you thinking he will finance his own campaign (because he has more money than God) and can’t be bought, everyone has his price.

Read more here:

http://www.opensecrets.org/news/2011/02/donald-trumps-donations-to-democrats.html

Let’s be frank here. If you’re looking for a diplomat you can help mend relationships with foreign leaders, Trump’s not it. If you want the deficit reduced, Trump is not the answer. If you’re looking for a moral candidate, Trump’s certainly not it. Stop drinking the kool-aid. While I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I wouldn’t thoroughly enjoy Trump being ripped apart in a debate, I think it’s best that we let people stick to what they know; therefore, let’s let Palin stick to moose hunting, and let’s let Trump stick to reality TV.

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